I wanted a daughter. I wanted to be a mum. There was nothing else I wanted. I grew to believe that church and marriage were for hypocrites, and the world could keep their education, jobs, careers and wealth. I just wanted my daughter, and I wanted her with all my heart.
Amanda was born 2 1/2 weeks prior to my 19th Birthday - SEVERAL YEARS AFTER I first started to pray for her. I longed for her all that time. I wanted her long before she was born... In a way, it was as though I already knew her, in my heart, and knew she was mine, and so all I had to do was wait until the right time (& for the guy who would consent to me having a baby) and then "POP!" ;) she was here...
The only thing that altered in all that time was her name. In the early years of praying to receive my daughter, I gave her the name Melanie...but, when it came time for my prayer to be answered, her biological father's name didn't sit that well with Melanie, so when she was born she was known to the world as Amanda.
Later I would learn that Amanda means "Worthy to be Loved." And, after giving my heart to Jesus, about 5 years after Amanda was born, God would inform me that, "The first child born from your womb is symbolic of the first message you will take to the world." 'Worthy to be loved...'
Amanda was loved and wanted long before she born, and more-so when placed in my arms that first time... My baby. My child. My daughter. My Dream-come-true. My answered prayer. My little girl. My love. My heart... Amanda: Worthy to be loved...
Are you aware that you were loved and wanted long before you were born...? Well, you were...! Maybe not by your biological parent, or parents, but definitely by the One who created you; the One who formed you and breathed life into you...
This morning, while out walking, I realised I'd left my Bible at home and so headed off to the 2nd hand bookshop to buy a Bible. The one that appealed to me most was a "Today's English Version" - not that I noted the version before buying it. But it's one I've not owned before... and upon reading the following Scripture, I reckon God led me to it, for this verse was written in a way that had my eyes and heart open wide:
...and I said, "God, I'm sorry." And He replied," I forgive you."
And I said, "God, I'm so sorry." And He replied, "I don't know what you're talking about..."
And I said, "God, I'm really sorry..." And He replied, "Walk with Me..."
And I said, "Father..." and He wrapped His arms around me and whispered,
"I love you... Now peace; be still..."
Did you hear that...??? BEFORE the world began, He chose us!!! :D You and me - and, yes, "them", too...He chose us! He wanted us. He loved us (Jn 3:16). He created us (Ps 139:13).
God created us. He brought us into existence. And He chose us BEFORE the WORLD began.
Whether your conception was planned or not, whether you were called an accident by one person or another, YOU WERE DELIBERATELY MADE. God formed you; creating you exactly as He desired. AND YOU WERE WANTED/DESIRED/LONGED FOR/LOVED THOUSANDS (some would say TENS of THOUSANDS) OF YEARS BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!! And I daresay He knew your name WAYYYYYYY back then, too! LONG before you took your first breath.
You were a surprise pregnancy...? You were an "accident"...? You were a "mistake"...? You were "unfortunately conceived" by the man who raped/abused your mother...? You weren't wanted...? I DON'T THINK SO!!!
THOUSANDS OF YEARS before YOU were born, BEFORE you were conceived, BEFORE your body was given a place to form, grow and enable you to enter this world, GOD CHOSE YOU!!!
It does not matter under what circumstances you were conceived. The fact remains: GOD WANTED YOU!!!
God still wants you...!