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~ Abandon Yourself to Grace ~
~*~ Day 1 ~*~
PART 1
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DAY 1:
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NO BERATING YOURSELF. RECEIVE GRACE FOR EVERYTHING!____________________________________________________________
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Matthew 4:8,9
8 Again, the devil took [Jesus] up on an exceedingly high mountain,
and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
9 And he said to Him,
“All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
(READ MORE HERE: Satan Tempts Jesus: Matthew 4:1-11)
Have you ever bowed down to Satan...? Have you ever worshiped him?
No, I wouldn't have said I had, either. But then God gave me the following picture:
- Satan was standing before God. They were facing one another. God's expression was unreadable - but I felt His sorrow. Satan had a smirk on his face while saying to God, "I got you, didn't I. I'm hurting you, aren't I." And he was very pleased with himself. And there I was, on my knees in worship, facing Satan, saying, "You're right. I'm not worthy..." Satan had used me to hurt God - and I was helping him - by agreeing with him.
DAY 1 of this "Abandon Yourself to Grace" journey and here I am tempted to talk down to myself, as I normally do, but God has said, "No berating yourself. Receive grace for everything!"
Isn't that a great word: Berate. It means to scold or criticize angrily. And that's what I do, and have done - to myself - since I was very young. Actually, the older I got, and the more sin I committed, the more mistakes I made, the more wrong I did, the greater disappointment I found in myself, reactions and behaviour, the easier it was to berate myself. In fact, even now, several years later, I still find myself behaving as I did in the scenario God set before me - as noted above.
It's easy for me to damn myself. It's as natural to me as breathing. I was in my 40s (I am presently 49) when God finally convinced me to stop looking in a mirror and thinking, "I hate you..."
It's not easy for me to think good of myself. That does not come naturally. I find it difficult to accept a compliment and had, for most of my life, looked upon a compliment or praise as one would an insult. I would turn from it. I found no comfort in a compliment. So, as you can imagine, accepting God's love, mercy, grace and all the good things He has for me and says of me was/is extremely difficult.
It is only by knowing God's goodness, His beautiful heart and great love, that I have been able to open my heart to any level of love from Him - while still holding on to the desire to damn myself.
As I stated in the opening of this section of my blogs, Abandon Yourself to Grace, I arrived at a place the other night where I just could not take the condemnation (for me, from me) any longer, and as soon as I stood up against it and said, "Enough's enough" and quoted Scripture at the negativity, God said (from His heart to mine), "Abandon yourself to grace." So, today, I have a choice. Actually, I've always had the choice, but only now have I dared to act upon it. I can either deny God spoke to my heart and carry on with life as normal, stuck here beneath the weight of condemnation, feeding on hopelessness, self-pity and fear, or I can get up and do as God desires me to.
Hmmm...what to do... ;)
I choose grace.
No matter how much I mess up, and even if I give in to temptation, I am determined to let myself be covered by grace.
Isn't that a great word: Berate. It means to scold or criticize angrily. And that's what I do, and have done - to myself - since I was very young. Actually, the older I got, and the more sin I committed, the more mistakes I made, the more wrong I did, the greater disappointment I found in myself, reactions and behaviour, the easier it was to berate myself. In fact, even now, several years later, I still find myself behaving as I did in the scenario God set before me - as noted above.
It's easy for me to damn myself. It's as natural to me as breathing. I was in my 40s (I am presently 49) when God finally convinced me to stop looking in a mirror and thinking, "I hate you..."
It's not easy for me to think good of myself. That does not come naturally. I find it difficult to accept a compliment and had, for most of my life, looked upon a compliment or praise as one would an insult. I would turn from it. I found no comfort in a compliment. So, as you can imagine, accepting God's love, mercy, grace and all the good things He has for me and says of me was/is extremely difficult.
It is only by knowing God's goodness, His beautiful heart and great love, that I have been able to open my heart to any level of love from Him - while still holding on to the desire to damn myself.
As I stated in the opening of this section of my blogs, Abandon Yourself to Grace, I arrived at a place the other night where I just could not take the condemnation (for me, from me) any longer, and as soon as I stood up against it and said, "Enough's enough" and quoted Scripture at the negativity, God said (from His heart to mine), "Abandon yourself to grace." So, today, I have a choice. Actually, I've always had the choice, but only now have I dared to act upon it. I can either deny God spoke to my heart and carry on with life as normal, stuck here beneath the weight of condemnation, feeding on hopelessness, self-pity and fear, or I can get up and do as God desires me to.
Hmmm...what to do... ;)
I choose grace.
No matter how much I mess up, and even if I give in to temptation, I am determined to let myself be covered by grace.
Sin is no longer our master. How great is that. :) We can turn our back on it, walk away. Although, I've found - as I'm sure we all have, or will - that is impossible without the Holy Spirit. Through this journey, and for the remainder of my life, I'm walking with Him. And I'm walking with an awareness now that even if I do slip up, He will lead me back, I will be covered by grace, and He will continue to finish the good work He has started in me.
We live under the FREEDOM of God's grace. The freedom of... Freedom. I like that. I want it...so I'm going to follow the promptings given by the Holy Spirit. I am going to do as I believe God has invited me to. I am going to abandon myself to grace. :)
I have this picture in my head, ay: I am standing on nothing, way up in the sky. I close my eyes, I lift my face to the heavens, imagining God before me, I open my arms wide and I fall backwards, into grace... *sigh* I could fall, crash and die :) but I know my Father is waiting to catch me. I know He is waiting and willing to catch all of us.
Today, I choose not to berate myself. :) I choose to accept and receive and lose myself in the arms of grace. I am turning my back on the enemy and I am abandoning me. I am freefalling into the goodness of our Heavenly Father, and I know that I know that I know He will cause this to benefit me somehow.
Wanna join me...? :) I hope you do. xxx
We live under the FREEDOM of God's grace. The freedom of... Freedom. I like that. I want it...so I'm going to follow the promptings given by the Holy Spirit. I am going to do as I believe God has invited me to. I am going to abandon myself to grace. :)
I have this picture in my head, ay: I am standing on nothing, way up in the sky. I close my eyes, I lift my face to the heavens, imagining God before me, I open my arms wide and I fall backwards, into grace... *sigh* I could fall, crash and die :) but I know my Father is waiting to catch me. I know He is waiting and willing to catch all of us.
Today, I choose not to berate myself. :) I choose to accept and receive and lose myself in the arms of grace. I am turning my back on the enemy and I am abandoning me. I am freefalling into the goodness of our Heavenly Father, and I know that I know that I know He will cause this to benefit me somehow.
Wanna join me...? :) I hope you do. xxx