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~ Abandon Yourself to Grace ~
~*~ Day 1 ~*~
PART 2
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: NO BERATING YOURSELF. RECEIVE GRACE FOR EVERYTHING!
DAY 1~*~***~*~
Lady in photograph is my dear friend, Dee Poole.
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(I might just note here that I already lived the first week, but couldn't write about it at the time. Although I am presently recording the end of Day 1, it is presently Day 7 for me - a day of rest, it seems, which I will write about asap. Today, I find it easy to write these blogs. The last 6 days I struggled to record anything - even though I tried, repeatedly. I must go with the freedom. :) So I am writing the past 6 days as though they are happening 'now' - for it is how it happened. And, I must say, Day 7 is fantastic! :) xxx )
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As Day 1 draws to an end, four things become perfectly clear to me:
- The number of times I give myself the space to berate myself is astounding. Though I stopped hating myself a number of years ago, it becomes clear now that I am not a friend to me.
- If I were to talk to my friends as I talk to myself, I would have no friends. If I were to talk to my children as I talk to myself, they would be crushed in next to no time. If I spoke to my husband as I spoke to myself, we would've been divorced long ago. I am so very grateful God has guarded my heart towards others - especially towards Tim and the kids. However, it's also come clear to me that as menopause kicks in, the attitude I hold towards myself is being turned towards Tim. How much longer, I wonder, would it have been - if God had not rescued me at this point - before I condemned Tim for everything he does or does not do? How long after that would my children have started to feel my sharp tongue? I am so grateful that God said "Abandon yourself to grace", for now I know that not only has He rescued me from further misery, He has rescued my family from it, also - and that before it happened. Oh, how grateful I am for His voice and for His Holy Spirit enabling me to hear it. Oh, how I thank Him for grace!
- I can look back over my life more clearly now, and see that my life is a story of grace. God's grace, covering me every step of the way. I find that very encouraging, indeed.
- I have peace tonight. :) I go to be with peace. Not with anxiety. Not with guilt. Not with any condemnation, whatsoever. It's strange, really. I know God's not about condemnation - for condemnation drags a soul down, whereas conviction brought on by the Holy Spirit sets free - yet, I gladly took it on. I opened myself to condemnation every hour of every day. No wonder I woke every morning feeling miserable... The peace that has risen up in my soul, today, feels so much better! :D Life feels so much better because of the peace given me in the midst of grace. :) Thank You, God. X
Picture is of an actual cloud. Hubby called me out back to look at the clouds, and I grabbed my camera and went out. Within seconds this face started to rise. I snapped a few photos and it altered. God's timing is perfect, is it not. :) |
Many times today, I had the opportunity to berate (angrily scold and criticize) myself but chose grace instead. "Nope; I'm doing today guilt-free", I kept saying; forgiving myself for my many shortcomings. I messed up, I wasn't good enough for me, I over-indulged with my weakness (sugar), and it would've been so easy to call myself a failure. But, instead, I let grace cover me. "I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. God is faithful and true; He will continue the good work He has started in me. I just have to get out of His way and let Him deal with my heart and character in whatever way it needs dealing with, and, today, I do that by receiving His grace and all He gives with it. No doubt, I'm gonna screw up, today, but grace has me covered, and I'm abandoning myself to it and not to shame."
That's not to say I went about willingly sinning. I want to be a better person. I want to be someone I can live with. Free-falling into sin isn't my objective. Free-falling into grace, into a greater freedom In Christ, into a greater depth and awareness of God's love, into a 'better me', while knowing I'm never gonna make it without Him, is. I accepted grace trusting God will make all things right. This opens my heart to God, therefore enabling me to hear and feel the promptings and leadings of the Holy Spirit. I was pushing into God by accepting grace, not turning from Him. I was taking in a greater measure of love, not hardening my heart to Him.
When you know who God is, how great His love is, your desire isn't to sin against Him. Would a bride willingly sin against her husband on their wedding night, by being unfaithful to him with another? If she truly loves him, she would not. No matter how much grace she is given. So it is with us and God. He woos us, He wins us, He reveals His love to us and we open our heart up to Him, becoming His. We 'fall in love' with Him, and, upon doing so, our desire is not to sin against Him. We delight in pleasing Him.
By being obedient to God, by abandoning myself to grace, as He led me to, I am pleasing Him, not sinning against Him.
And now I have a greater measure of peace and a greater awareness of God's love.
Faith has risen. Hope has risen. Joy has come.
God is good! :)
That's not to say I went about willingly sinning. I want to be a better person. I want to be someone I can live with. Free-falling into sin isn't my objective. Free-falling into grace, into a greater freedom In Christ, into a greater depth and awareness of God's love, into a 'better me', while knowing I'm never gonna make it without Him, is. I accepted grace trusting God will make all things right. This opens my heart to God, therefore enabling me to hear and feel the promptings and leadings of the Holy Spirit. I was pushing into God by accepting grace, not turning from Him. I was taking in a greater measure of love, not hardening my heart to Him.
When you know who God is, how great His love is, your desire isn't to sin against Him. Would a bride willingly sin against her husband on their wedding night, by being unfaithful to him with another? If she truly loves him, she would not. No matter how much grace she is given. So it is with us and God. He woos us, He wins us, He reveals His love to us and we open our heart up to Him, becoming His. We 'fall in love' with Him, and, upon doing so, our desire is not to sin against Him. We delight in pleasing Him.
By being obedient to God, by abandoning myself to grace, as He led me to, I am pleasing Him, not sinning against Him.
And now I have a greater measure of peace and a greater awareness of God's love.
Faith has risen. Hope has risen. Joy has come.
God is good! :)
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I just had a thought: Falling in love is a process. We can be instantly attracted to someone, and know that we know that we know we want to spend the rest of our life with that person, but even if we're convinced of this, our 'future partner' may take some convincing. We then set out to convince 'the object of our affection' - one way or another - that we can be, if they would allow it, the greatest love of their life. We will do what we can to woo them; to win them over. And so it is with God. God is pursuing you, constantly. He is forever seeking to be one with you; to be in an intimate relationship with you. Because He loves you. And He knows He can show you love like you've never known it before. He knows He has the power to heal your hurting heart, to wipe those negative thoughts from your mind, to free you of the past, and to give you a better life - if you let Him. He does not doubt the power He has to set you free. He does not doubt the power He has to love you right and completely. He knows He can make you happy. He wants to make you happy. He loves you with a passion, and He will constantly draw you to Himself and into a deeper relationship with Him. He won't force you, but He will woo you as a groom woos his cherished bride. He can't help Himself. :) He's in love. ;)
It takes time for you to trust His love, perhaps, but, God has plenty of that up His sleeve. :) And He knows you like no one else does. He will work to free and delight your heart, not damn it, not condemn it, and He will use an endless flow of grace to do it. :)
It takes time for you to trust His love, perhaps, but, God has plenty of that up His sleeve. :) And He knows you like no one else does. He will work to free and delight your heart, not damn it, not condemn it, and He will use an endless flow of grace to do it. :)
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John 10:7-10
New International Version - UK (NIVUK)
7 Therefore Jesus said again,
'Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.
8 All who have come before me are thieves and robbers,
but the sheep have not listened to them.
9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.
They will come in and go out, and find pasture.
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
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THANK YOU, JESUS!! XXXXXX