When I write - be it a blog, story or whatever - I do so with the desire to pass forward the love of God; the love God has revealed to me. Honestly, if the love isn't the foundation of my writing, I don't see the point of it... Unless I'm really ticked off, lol, but my heart knows that's ego wanting a say and, hey, who needs the humiliation of repenting, right? ;)
But seriously... If one was to ask my agenda, it would be to pass forward God's love; to reveal the Father's heart.
You've heard the Amazing Grace lyrics, "I once was lost, but now I'm found..."
But seriously... If one was to ask my agenda, it would be to pass forward God's love; to reveal the Father's heart.
You've heard the Amazing Grace lyrics, "I once was lost, but now I'm found..."
...well, that is how it was for me. I was lost to God, but now I'm found. I was once lost in a loveless, unforgiving world, but now I'm found. I feel free, now. I AM set free.
In being set free, I find a joy I long to share with the world... And it is in being found, in being set free, in finding joy, in wanting to share that joy that a Christian longs to share the 'good news' (aka the gospel)... It is in this the heart of an evangelist is born.
In times past, I've avoided being classed as an evangelist, for, truth be told, my heart has not been with, or for, the lost, but with the broken. And when I write I do so for the 'saved'; for the brokenhearted saved; for the saved who is yet to know the fullness of forgiveness, grace, freedom, acceptance, love, and so on, that is found in the heart of God. I long to see the 'saved' soul living freely, without burdens leftover from days of old, and without the shackles of man-driven religion. I long to see the 'saved' living in the freedom released to those who love God...to those who open their hearts to allow God to grant them such things; who struggle to open their hearts to allow God to grant them the fullness of freedom because they still see themselves solely as 'sinner'.
As a young Christian, my desire was to run out and tell everyone of all the good that is in, and is, God, but being the timid soul I was, I learned to shut my mouth most of the time. I think by that stage, though, I'd lost family and friends, and never again did I find it in my heart to share with them the joy within. Don't get me wrong, I didn't wish them harm or unhappiness, I just didn't bother opening my heart or mouth to them. "Each to their own," and all that...
I see now, as of this morning, that in closing my mouth I also closed my heart. And while closing my mouth may have been the best thing for those concerned, closing my heart to them wasn't. I realised that this morning, after I'd said to God last night that I am weary of the bullies of this world. You see, anger rises up in me when I see or hear about what a 'bully' has done and I want to 'correct' them with intense passion - no matter if their 'sin' is as grand as Hitler's or as small as overstepping another's personal space, or something in-between. But, now I see I've hardened my heart there, too - with the bullies. Yes, what they do is wrong, and they very well may need to be stopped or corrected, but who am I to judge them, right? Correction can be given without condemnation.
Anyway, this morning, driving my daughter to school, there was a program on the Christian radio where the guy spoke of Christians being evangelists. I instantly wanted to turn my heart and ear away from that but I listened... He shared that often we deem evangelists as being those who preach the word on tv or somewhere public and loudly, but we are all called to it, even if that is no further than your own neighbourhood, workplace, school, or wherever you find yourself. Or something like that. I kind of shrugged off what he was saying, again declaring "I am not an evangelist, nor do I desire to be," but it did get in, and my heart softened as I suddenly realised, "God, I have no right to harden my heart to anyone. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I don't have a heart for the lost; please feel free to work on that."
On the return drive, I put on my Robbie Seay Band CD... and, eventually, the song "LAMENT" came on:
In being set free, I find a joy I long to share with the world... And it is in being found, in being set free, in finding joy, in wanting to share that joy that a Christian longs to share the 'good news' (aka the gospel)... It is in this the heart of an evangelist is born.
In times past, I've avoided being classed as an evangelist, for, truth be told, my heart has not been with, or for, the lost, but with the broken. And when I write I do so for the 'saved'; for the brokenhearted saved; for the saved who is yet to know the fullness of forgiveness, grace, freedom, acceptance, love, and so on, that is found in the heart of God. I long to see the 'saved' soul living freely, without burdens leftover from days of old, and without the shackles of man-driven religion. I long to see the 'saved' living in the freedom released to those who love God...to those who open their hearts to allow God to grant them such things; who struggle to open their hearts to allow God to grant them the fullness of freedom because they still see themselves solely as 'sinner'.
As a young Christian, my desire was to run out and tell everyone of all the good that is in, and is, God, but being the timid soul I was, I learned to shut my mouth most of the time. I think by that stage, though, I'd lost family and friends, and never again did I find it in my heart to share with them the joy within. Don't get me wrong, I didn't wish them harm or unhappiness, I just didn't bother opening my heart or mouth to them. "Each to their own," and all that...
I see now, as of this morning, that in closing my mouth I also closed my heart. And while closing my mouth may have been the best thing for those concerned, closing my heart to them wasn't. I realised that this morning, after I'd said to God last night that I am weary of the bullies of this world. You see, anger rises up in me when I see or hear about what a 'bully' has done and I want to 'correct' them with intense passion - no matter if their 'sin' is as grand as Hitler's or as small as overstepping another's personal space, or something in-between. But, now I see I've hardened my heart there, too - with the bullies. Yes, what they do is wrong, and they very well may need to be stopped or corrected, but who am I to judge them, right? Correction can be given without condemnation.
Anyway, this morning, driving my daughter to school, there was a program on the Christian radio where the guy spoke of Christians being evangelists. I instantly wanted to turn my heart and ear away from that but I listened... He shared that often we deem evangelists as being those who preach the word on tv or somewhere public and loudly, but we are all called to it, even if that is no further than your own neighbourhood, workplace, school, or wherever you find yourself. Or something like that. I kind of shrugged off what he was saying, again declaring "I am not an evangelist, nor do I desire to be," but it did get in, and my heart softened as I suddenly realised, "God, I have no right to harden my heart to anyone. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I don't have a heart for the lost; please feel free to work on that."
On the return drive, I put on my Robbie Seay Band CD... and, eventually, the song "LAMENT" came on:
Robbie Seay Band ~ "LAMENT" lyrics...
*sniff*
And as I drove along, singing along as I do, the crack that allowed thoughts of evengalism and my repentant prayer to take root opened a little more and this song got in, deep...
I repeat, *sniff* ...and I listened a little more carefully...
And as I drove along, singing along as I do, the crack that allowed thoughts of evengalism and my repentant prayer to take root opened a little more and this song got in, deep...
I repeat, *sniff* ...and I listened a little more carefully...
"Oh You are here
Your Kingdom come
Rescue us from all we’ve done
Help us move and be the love
Save us now from all we’ve done
We’ve seen mothers bury sons
We’ve seen mothers bury sons
We are begging You to come
God come..."
I have a mother's heart, and I am blessed with wonderful children, whom I love greatly. So these lyrics were able to go deeper into my heart, to tap into the love of a mother's heart; to tap into the love that flows through me because of my kids, and the tears soon followed as I imagined mothers losing their sons; losing their sons and daughters... And as these things stirred deep within, my heart registered that even the 'bullies' of this world have a mother, and I ached for those mothers... and I ached for their lost children...
As empathy stung my heart, and tears stung my eyes, I felt a new sense of compassion for the lost... Everything that had been on my heart re bullies, the lost, evangelism and so on, was all tied together by the Holy Spirit and presented to me in one heart-wrenching, eye-opening moment. A new sense of love and compassion rose within me, but as I automatically moved to claim it, I realised it was not my heart I was feeling; it was not my compassion I was feeling; it was not my love I was feeling. It was God's.
I saw my Father's heart for the world and for the lost. I felt His love for them. I saw them through His heart, His love, His compassion, His tears... and I was humbled by it all.
And so I return to my computer in order to write again... and that not to reflect me, my heart or my love to or for you, but to reflect the Father to you; to reflect His love for YOU to you; to reflect the Father's heart that yearns for you...
As empathy stung my heart, and tears stung my eyes, I felt a new sense of compassion for the lost... Everything that had been on my heart re bullies, the lost, evangelism and so on, was all tied together by the Holy Spirit and presented to me in one heart-wrenching, eye-opening moment. A new sense of love and compassion rose within me, but as I automatically moved to claim it, I realised it was not my heart I was feeling; it was not my compassion I was feeling; it was not my love I was feeling. It was God's.
I saw my Father's heart for the world and for the lost. I felt His love for them. I saw them through His heart, His love, His compassion, His tears... and I was humbled by it all.
And so I return to my computer in order to write again... and that not to reflect me, my heart or my love to or for you, but to reflect the Father to you; to reflect His love for YOU to you; to reflect the Father's heart that yearns for you...
"Oh You are here
Your Kingdom come
Rescue us from all we’ve done
Help us move and be the love
Save us now from all we’ve done
We’ve seen mothers bury sons
We’ve seen mothers bury sons
We are begging You to come
God come..."