"I am..." again
I was sitting here earlier, doing just that. The temptation to become annoyed over one particular issue has been hanging around for the past day or so, with it being a little more boisterous today. But I like peace. I like sensing God's presence, and listening for His still small voice. So, I took a breath, closed my eyes, and thought "I am..." Then instantly wondered why it worked so well. Indeed, why it works at all.
I mean, whereas once I felt I had to run around looking for peace in God, or work to find and/or achieve it, now, here in this place God has brought me to, "I am" is more like a door I just have to open, through which God carries me into peace. There is no striving. There is no anxiety. There is no stress. Just the opposite in fact.
Upon thinking about it, I asked God why it works this way, and what He shared was, "When the ego adds to I am (as in: I am mum), it wants to do something in that area. 'I am' enables you to be still." The image that came with this was that the ego, which needs to find its identity with "I am", seeks to prove itself. In "I am", there is no need to prove anything to anyone, not even to yourself; you just 'are'. You exist, and that's enough. And in being aware of that, peace is easier to grab hold of, and hold on to.
What "I am" means to me, is not that I am the great I AM, lol, but that I exist, and in existing I have worth because I exist in God, and He created me, and He wants me. In "I am" I know I am loved and wanted by Him and I no longer question this; I just know it. I am, to me, means, I can be still and know that He is God, and He is not asking me to prove myself in any way. He just wants me to be.
There is great peace in knowing that you know that you know that God likes you, just the way you are.