A fine line between passion and fear.
During my kids' growing years, there was one rule I was more adamant about than any other: Whatever you do in life, don't do anything that will see you in jail.
I figured this was my #1 rule because I know prison is one place I can't look out for my kids. However, today, God joined a few dots for me and showed me why I was so passionate about that "rule".
This weekend, our three youngest children (F17, M18 & M20) came away with us, to visit Nan Driver. During this time - as it happens when we're together without tv and/or our computers to distract us - the 5 of us ended up sharing some deep and meaningful conversations. We love to throw around thoughts concerning, and dive into, spiritual, emotional and mental depths. And during the 'sessions' we manged to have this weekend, it came clear to me that the reason I worry about my kids (as I do, personally), and why the #1 rule is what it is, and why I am somewhat cautious about where they go and how others treat them, is the same reason I write: I want to see people free.
When God revealed that to me today, that my fear is actually born of the same thing my passion is, I was floored. My mouth literally dropped open.
I've always hated (with a passion) those movies that have an innocent person imprisoned. I can't watch them. I've never been able to; not even when I was younger. I would suffer grave anger on their behalf and because I couldn't do anything about it, I'd want out of watching the movie. I can't stand seeing people bullied, manipulated, controlled, enslaved, or any such thing. And now I know why...
In God, my passion is "set the captives free". (In fact, one of my email addresses is 'set the captives free'.) In my flesh - without trusting God; without walking by faith; when not walking in the spirit - the calling/desire/passion God has set in my heart, to see people set free (as He desires), becomes a fear.
Gee, I hope that makes sense, because I don't want to bore you with my going over and over it. Rather, I would simply have you close my website now and ask God if there is a connection between your fear and your calling; your fear and your passion.
When I started this "Finding Our Identity" journey several weeks ago, I did so wanting to be free of fear. Now, here God is, explaining one of my fears to me - and releasing me of it by doing so...and I love Him all the more for it... :) ...and I breathe a little easier, finding security in the hand that planted such passion in me; and once again taking note that to walk in God is to live my passion, to walk without Him is to live my fear. I choose Him. :)
Much love and freedom to you. :) xxxx