When I was a fairly new Christian, still traipsing along through life with old thought patterns, hang-ups and brokenness, I was a fairly needy person. It was during this time that God placed on my heart, "Accept; Don't expect." And what He was referring to in this case was in response to my needs, and the fact that humans are humans and are to be respected as such.
None of us are perfect. Yet, many of us all but demand perfection from others, even when we cannot give it. Why is that? I mean, often we reach out in our brokenness all but expecting others to be God in our life, and when they fall short of the mark we set for them we are surprised and usually downright ticked off over the fact that they failed us. Where do we get off expecting others to be perfect, and to be the answer to our every need when we know from experience that it is impossible for us to be the be all and end all to everyone else's problems?
We are broken people, living in a broken world, reaching out to broken people. We have no right to expect others to be the answer to our prayers. God answers prayer... We have no right to expect others to heal our broken hearts. God heals... We have no right to expect others to be God. There is only One and in no way can we mere mortals be all that He is...
You know, chances are the person you tend to lean on whenever you have an issue or an ache is probably secretly falling apart. They're just like us - with worries, and heartache, and life going on all around them. Sooner or later, something in this life will zap their strength and they won't be able to hold themselves up let alone someone else, no matter how well pasted on their smile may be, and no matter how much they desire to be there for you.
Can you imagine leaning on something with cracks in it? Can you imagine what would happen if you continually put your weight on it? Sooner or later the cracks will give way and you'll both fall to the ground.
None of us are perfect. Yet, many of us all but demand perfection from others, even when we cannot give it. Why is that? I mean, often we reach out in our brokenness all but expecting others to be God in our life, and when they fall short of the mark we set for them we are surprised and usually downright ticked off over the fact that they failed us. Where do we get off expecting others to be perfect, and to be the answer to our every need when we know from experience that it is impossible for us to be the be all and end all to everyone else's problems?
We are broken people, living in a broken world, reaching out to broken people. We have no right to expect others to be the answer to our prayers. God answers prayer... We have no right to expect others to heal our broken hearts. God heals... We have no right to expect others to be God. There is only One and in no way can we mere mortals be all that He is...
You know, chances are the person you tend to lean on whenever you have an issue or an ache is probably secretly falling apart. They're just like us - with worries, and heartache, and life going on all around them. Sooner or later, something in this life will zap their strength and they won't be able to hold themselves up let alone someone else, no matter how well pasted on their smile may be, and no matter how much they desire to be there for you.
Can you imagine leaning on something with cracks in it? Can you imagine what would happen if you continually put your weight on it? Sooner or later the cracks will give way and you'll both fall to the ground.
I made the above image after I read, yet again, "Thank You, God, for being there for me when no one else could be..." I have grown to hate that "prayer"... I have seen it offered as a way of someone pointing out to their "loved" ones that they had let the giver of the statement down. It's not a prayer when offered that way. It's a way of stating that the person saying it is ticked off - therefore they're using God not praying to Him. Their concern is their heart, how they were treated, and who is going to pay for it. Gratitude to God or for such a circumstance has nothing to do with it.
That's not to say everyone who shares that on their status doesn't mean it. Some do, of course! But some don't. Some use a "prayer of gratitude" as a weapon to shoot the heart/s that let them down, and when it is shared in such a mood, it's easy to see God has not been offered a place in their heart. There is no gratitude, only attitude. And that's sad - for everyone involved.
Please don't think I'm judging or condemning. I've been there, too. I remember being ticked off when "they" weren't there for me to lean on. I know what being "ticked off" can do to one's heart and attitude, and how easy it is then to blame others for our falling down, for our aloneness and for everything else that upsets us at the time. I've been the one to thank God with attitude for being there when no one else was. But I now see my sin in all that. I now see my heartlessness and vanity in praying the "Thank you, God, that I am not like them!" prayers, when in actual fact I was just like them and worse!
I mean, were you here every time I needed you? No... But I don't thank God for being here when you couldn't be. Not anymore. Rather, I thank Him that He ensured that there would be times in my life when you couldn't be, when no one was there, when no one had the answer I was looking for, when no one could hold my hand through something, because then and only then did I reach deep inside and find the courage to cry out to God with my whole heart, to seek Him with my WHOLE heart, and to find that He was there for me with His whole heart...
"Man" cannot be our God. "Man" is "man"... God is God... and He will give you of His strength, of His love, of His mercy and grace and power, to help you through any and every situation that comes your way - if you let Him, by seeking Him with your whole heart...
God meets with those who want Him in their life. He won't push His way in-between you and the friend you want to lean on. He won't interfere with your relationships... but He won't give your friend super human abilities needed to be there for you every time, otherwise you will never find God in the depths of your own soul; you will never know Him intimately; you will never have your ears, eyes and understanding open to the impressive love He truly has for you; you will never know the fullness of His compassion, mercy or grace; you will never be totally set free of all that has wounded you, and will continue to wound you, in this life.
If you continue to place "man" in the position only God can truly fill, you will continue to be let down, and you will never know how much you are loved by God... but, oh, if you did know of His love - my goodness, the freedom and joy and peace and faith that comes with such an awareness! Words cannot express how great His love is, only a heart can "know" it... You know that love you ache for in the privacy of your own heart...? God has that love for you... and more. And God knows I wouldn't write about it if I hadn't experienced it. *sigh*
Anyway... :)
...I'm not saying you need to walk this life alone. No, not at all. I just mean that as you're walking the path set before you, open your heart and see that others are doing their best to walk the path before them, see that their path won't always connect with yours, and see that, at times, just as we do on our own clumsy journey through this life, they will trip and fall and need compassion and understanding rather than judgement and condemnation.
Walk with friends in life, by all means, just accept that they're only human, too. Don't expect them to be your extra leg every time, ay... even if they want to be.
With love,
Donna. xxxx
That's not to say everyone who shares that on their status doesn't mean it. Some do, of course! But some don't. Some use a "prayer of gratitude" as a weapon to shoot the heart/s that let them down, and when it is shared in such a mood, it's easy to see God has not been offered a place in their heart. There is no gratitude, only attitude. And that's sad - for everyone involved.
Please don't think I'm judging or condemning. I've been there, too. I remember being ticked off when "they" weren't there for me to lean on. I know what being "ticked off" can do to one's heart and attitude, and how easy it is then to blame others for our falling down, for our aloneness and for everything else that upsets us at the time. I've been the one to thank God with attitude for being there when no one else was. But I now see my sin in all that. I now see my heartlessness and vanity in praying the "Thank you, God, that I am not like them!" prayers, when in actual fact I was just like them and worse!
I mean, were you here every time I needed you? No... But I don't thank God for being here when you couldn't be. Not anymore. Rather, I thank Him that He ensured that there would be times in my life when you couldn't be, when no one was there, when no one had the answer I was looking for, when no one could hold my hand through something, because then and only then did I reach deep inside and find the courage to cry out to God with my whole heart, to seek Him with my WHOLE heart, and to find that He was there for me with His whole heart...
"Man" cannot be our God. "Man" is "man"... God is God... and He will give you of His strength, of His love, of His mercy and grace and power, to help you through any and every situation that comes your way - if you let Him, by seeking Him with your whole heart...
God meets with those who want Him in their life. He won't push His way in-between you and the friend you want to lean on. He won't interfere with your relationships... but He won't give your friend super human abilities needed to be there for you every time, otherwise you will never find God in the depths of your own soul; you will never know Him intimately; you will never have your ears, eyes and understanding open to the impressive love He truly has for you; you will never know the fullness of His compassion, mercy or grace; you will never be totally set free of all that has wounded you, and will continue to wound you, in this life.
If you continue to place "man" in the position only God can truly fill, you will continue to be let down, and you will never know how much you are loved by God... but, oh, if you did know of His love - my goodness, the freedom and joy and peace and faith that comes with such an awareness! Words cannot express how great His love is, only a heart can "know" it... You know that love you ache for in the privacy of your own heart...? God has that love for you... and more. And God knows I wouldn't write about it if I hadn't experienced it. *sigh*
Anyway... :)
...I'm not saying you need to walk this life alone. No, not at all. I just mean that as you're walking the path set before you, open your heart and see that others are doing their best to walk the path before them, see that their path won't always connect with yours, and see that, at times, just as we do on our own clumsy journey through this life, they will trip and fall and need compassion and understanding rather than judgement and condemnation.
Walk with friends in life, by all means, just accept that they're only human, too. Don't expect them to be your extra leg every time, ay... even if they want to be.
With love,
Donna. xxxx