I have such a strong grieving in my spirit at the moment. Conviction is great, it sets free and causes you to get out of God's way so He can make all things right, but, at the moment, I'm stuck in grief mode. I don't fear grief mode - I don't like being here, but I don't fear it. I know God will reach into it and cover me with mercy as I seek forgiveness. He will enable me to rise again and, this time, walk in a greater measure of love, with His Spirit. So it will work out for good, I know that. But, right now, you have found me with a repentant heart.
I was, just this morning, aiming to close a door on a relationship. I've closed such doors before. There was 'that person' who treated me like dirt for umpteen years. There was 'that one' who shouldn't be touched because it could, and would, open the door to deception and betrayal. And there was 'that church' that I just could not stand to be a part of anymore... And, honestly, at the time, my reasons for leaving, or for closing the door, were justified. "Enough's enough!" and so on and so forth. But this morning, as I aimed to make a similar choice, God placed on my heart, "What is your motivation?"
This questioned stilled me, and as I pondered it, the following rose up within me: Is it because you've taken on offence, or is it to glorify Me? (With Me being God.)
Oh, how my heart fell... because the truth was: It was all about me, God...
Why are you leaving that church? Because you've taken on offence or because you're seeking to glorify God?
Why are you ending that relationship? Because you can't stand the way they treat you anymore or because you're seeking to glorify God?
Why do you do serve in church? Because you need to feel needed and wanted or important, or because you're seeking to glorify God?
Why are you ignoring those phone calls from your mother/mother-in-law (or some other relative or friend)? Because they've really ticked you off or because you're seeking to glorify God?
Why are you not forgiving that person? Because they wounded you too deeply, or because you're seeking to glorify God?
Okay, so they wronged you, but is your response to them about you or God?
So on and so forth...
If it's about you, you'll know it - there's a negative feeling in your heart. Your heart has hardened, or is hardening, and you feel it. You'll be holding anger - be it a niggling sensation or a great flood. You'll be concerned with how 'they' effect you. You'll be worried about you and how you look and/or how you feel.
If your motivation is to glorify God, then love will be what you hold in your heart - love and peace, and a joy in knowing that you are doing God's will and reflecting His love to 'that person', no matter what they've done against you.
Jesus worked to glorify the Father.
New King James Version (NKJV)
1 Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said:
“Father, the hour has come.
Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You,
2 as You have given Him authority over all flesh,
that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him.
3 And this is eternal life, that they may know You,
the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.
4 I have glorified You on the earth.
I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.
5 And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself,
with the glory which I had with You before the world was.
12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.
13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come,
He will guide you into all truth;
for He will not speak on His own authority,
but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.
14 He will glorify Me,
for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you.
Jesus tells us to forgive. If I'm holding on to offence, I'm not forgiving. If I'm not forgiving, I am not doing as Jesus did; I am not doing what will bring Him or our Father glory. Rather, I am bringing shame to their name.
Oh, that the Holy Spirit would be given free reign in our lives so the Father and the Son can be glorified; so we can love as we're called to love, forgive as we're called to forgive, serve as we're called to serve...and so on and so forth.
:( Come, Holy Spirit...
If our motivation is not based on love, it is not of God...and if love is not involved, your actions will not bring Him or Jesus any glory whatsoever.
:( Father, forgive me...
Thank you, Jesus, that you died for our sins; that you have made a way not only for us to be forgiven of our sins and our ego, but to receive your Spirit, so He can counsel us, bring us to all truth, and work in us to make us more like you, and to glorify you throughout all the earth.
Holy Spirit, come. Rise up in us so that you, through us, can glorify the Father and the Son. Help us to reflect God's heart, and the fullness of His majesty and love to the world, as He desires us to, so all can see Him and know Him and be loved by Him for now and for eternity, and so all can see the truth of who Jesus Christ is - so that His name is glorified above all others...including our own.