~ Find Rest my Soul ~
For me - so far, at least -this 'finding my identity in God, through Christ' journey has brought me to a greater awareness of God's heart, of His presence in my life and His love for me, rather than seen me take on a label and declare, "I am who- and whatever..."
Yes, I can claim being God's daughter, God's child, and so on, but more and more I see, and feel (again, so far - I don't know what's to come), that this is more about being His, being loved by Him, being wanted by Him, being accepted, adored, cherished by God. This is not about labels or titles. That is not what I feel led to take on, but a knowing, an understanding, a warmth that rises from the pit of my stomach and pours into my soul, informing me who He is and what I mean to Him. And, along with that, there comes a knowing that all will be well.
I am finding an awareness, a joy, a peace, a faith, a stillness (for want of a better word), through which I find it easier to be me, easier to trust Him, easier to believe that there's nothing to fear, a greater awareness that 'the dark night of the soul' - or those dark moments in our journey - are not to be feared but celebrated, knowing that this is a time when God is doing a deep work in us, and that for our good, despite what our flesh and ego feel.
Here, I feel at rest. I feel wanted. Here, I don't have to strive to be somebody, to be perfect, to be loved, to be what I think I'm supposed to be. Here, I am ok with me and I know God is, too. Here, I find a peace I've never known before.
Is this God's rest...? It certainly feels like it...
New International Version - UK (NIVUK)
1 Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. 2 For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed. 3 Now we who have believed enter that rest, just as God has said,
‘So I declared on oath in my anger,
“They shall never enter my rest.”’
And yet his works have been finished since the creation of the world. 4 For somewhere he has spoken about the seventh day in these words: ‘On the seventh day God rested from all his works.’ 5 And again in the passage above he says, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’
6 Therefore since it still remains for some to enter that rest, and since those who formerly had the good news proclaimed to them did not go in because of their disobedience, 7 God again set a certain day, calling it ‘Today’. This he did when a long time later he spoke through David, as in the passage already quoted:
‘Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts.’
8 For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. 11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.
12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to feel sympathy for our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.